The Reason Is You
by deadheartsx
Summary: Post Provider. After another encounter with Mohra demons, Angel becomes human, but when Cordelia gets a vision of the Fang Gang dying in an upcoming battle he makes a deal with the PTB, who tell him that he must sacrifice a part of his future in order for him and his loved ones to keep his human memories.Rated M for language,smut and violence. Eventual crossover with BTVS.


Set six months after Provider. Everyone can see how much Angel and Cordelia love each other, but the two still won't own up to their feelings for one another. When Angel has another encounter with a Mohra demon and becomes human again. When he realizes that he will be useless in an upcoming battle, he makes a deal with the Powers That Be that will prove to Cordelia how much he truly loves her. Eventual crossover with Buffy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these amazing character, if I did the show would have ended so much differently! No profit is being made off of this, it's for entertainment purposes only.

Reviews will make me very very happy!

**The Reason Is You**

_**Chapter One; **_

"Angel Investigations, we help the helpless" Cordelia tried to sound cheerful, but she was exhausted from the previous night. It was nothing new these days, she felt like she hadn't stayed in her own apartment in months. Business was booming, which was a good thing, but balancing saving the world with visions from the PTB and helping raise a now crawling baby was exhausting; still, she wouldn't trade it for the world.

After she took down the potential clients information, she grabbed her coffee mug and went to get herself a refill. That's when she noticed them, the green skinned man like demons who came crashing through the doors of the Hyperion Hotel.

"Angel! We've got company!" she yelled towards the back office, where Angel had just gotten Conner to take a nap. Wes was off consulting with an old friend about a prophecy he had recently translated, Gunn and Fred were out to lunch, leaving the vampire with a soul and the part demon seer alone. When Angel bolted from the office and saw the three demons, a look of shock instantly covered his usual brooding face.

"You have to destroy the jewel on their forehead" he said flatly, catching the sword that Cordelia had tossed his way. He'd encountered these demons before, but that was a day only he remembered. In seconds the demons were tried to get the advantage, all three coming after Angel. It was their mission, what they were hired for. Assassin demons, just another day at the office. Cordelia ran to grab another sword from the weapons cabinet, but was stopped when one of Mohra demons threw her into the front counter, screaming in pain she kicked the demon hard enough that he stumbled backwards while she jumped back to her feet, ignoring the pain from the gash on her head. Looking behind the counter she grabbed the first thing she could find, Wesleys newest prized possession, a priceless axe that had an inscription carved into it. Without hesitation she swung it around, causing it to slice through the demons neck, taking its head completely off. When the green glowing blood sprayed everywhere, she gave Angel a disgusted glare before using all of her force to smash the red jewel on its forehead with the axe.

Quickly she ran over to where Angel was cornered by other two, one which had already used its nails to cut through the vampires shirt, which was now soaked in blood, Angel kicked that one away, sending it flying towards Cordelia and the blood covered axe, the brunette seer then gave the demon the same treatment as she had given his friend, while Angel killed the other. Once the fight was over Cordelia rushed over to him, worried about the strange look on his face.

"Our blood mixed" was all he could say, Cordelia gave him a clueless glance as she helped him to the couch to patch him up, not worried about her own bleeding wound on the back of her head.

"If that's that worst that happened, I'm going to say get the hell over it.." she mumbled as she collapsed next to him. As if it were on cue, Gunn and Fred came through the door, instantly worried when they saw the three headless demons dead on the ground.

"What the hell happened here?" Gunn asked, seeing his two slime covered friends exhausted on the couch.

"The same thing that happens at least once a week, nasty demons broke in and tried to kill us." The hazel eyed woman glared, looking down at her ruined clothes, "and this shirt was new! God I don't get paid enough for this..." she grumbled, wincing in pain as Fred touched the back of her head to see where the blood was coming from.

"I'll get the first aid kit.." the petite girl spoke, looking at Angel who still had an awed kind of look on his face.

"How did you know how to kill them anyway?" Cordelia questioned, looking over at him.

"One almost killed me and Buffy the last time she was in town.." he admitted, looking over at the woman who had taken out two of the demons by herself. Her eyes widened as her mouth suddenly formed a perfect 'o' shape. After Cordelia had learned that he lied about sleeping with Darla, part of her terms to forgive him were he had to confess everything he had lied to her about, including when twenty four hours of her memory was wiped because of his last encounter with a Mohra demon. Now they both shared the same concerned looks.

"What aren't you telling us..?" Gunn was suspicious now as he saw the worried looks wash over his friends, "they're dead so it's done.."

"Whose first?" Fred looked between the two, only nodding as Angel pointed to Cordelia.

Neither one of the two answered, it wasn't Cordelias place to tell, and Angel didn't know how to explain that as they sat there he was quickly becoming human. He could feel it already, the blood pumping through his veins as his heart slowly started to beat once again. Cordelia on the other hand was dealing with an entirely different range of emotions. Happiness for him, but selfish hurt for herself; she had no doubt that now that he was human he would run off to find Buffy, taking Conner away so that he could have the life he always wanted with the slayer he had been in love with for years. She didn't complain about the pain as Fred stitched up her gash, when it was done she stood up without saying a word, walking off to the office to check on Conner.

The eight month old was sleeping peacefully when she got there, he hadn't woken up at all during the fight. She tried to fight the tears that started to form when she saw the sleeping baby, but she lost the battle against herself. As the tears began to fall she let her fingers softly run through Conners baby soft hair.  
"I'm going to miss you more than you can possibly know little guy.." she whispered, being careful not to wake him. Wiping away stray tears she left the office, not looking at anyone as she mumbled something about going home to clean up. She was about to lose the two most important people in her life, and she had no idea how she'd be able to go on without them.

Hours passed, and after taking a shower, changing into clean clothes, Cordelia still didn't go back to the hotel. She couldn't take hearing all of the excitement over Angel being human, knowing that it was only a matter of time before he was off to Sunnydale. It would hurt too much; she couldn't handle hearing his plans. So instead she stayed curled up with a blanket on her couch, thinking about what her future would be like now. A seer without her champion, a surrogate mother without her child, a lonely twenty one year old without her best friend and the man she was in love with.

She ignored the knock at the door, not wanting to face anyone just yet. Tears kept falling as she thought about everything that had happened in her life since running into Angel nearly four years ago. Everything they had been through together, the person who had become.

"Hey.." she heard a voice speak, using the blanket to dry off her tear streaked face she looked up at him. Angel.

"I thought you'd be halfway to Sunnydale by now.." she mumbled, looking back down at her hands.

"What? Why..?" he seemed to be genuinely confused by the idea, when Cordelia gave him a 'why do you think' look, realization set in. "That's why you left.." he finally got it, sitting next to her he shook his head. He had to tell her the truth, she needed to know. "I'm not going anywhere." Angel promised, a soft smile forming on his lips as she looked over at him.

"Why? This is what you've been fighting for.. your redemption, becoming human.." a sniffle caused her to stop speaking for a second, "you have the chance to be with the woman you love, to give Conner a family.. why stay?" Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing, was she honestly that clueless?

"Conner already has a mother" he stated, it was now or never, taking a breath he nervously set his hand on her interlaced ones, watching as she slowly let herself look him in the eyes for the first time since he told her about the demon, "I do love Buffy," he stared, causing her to flinch, "but not in the way you think. She and I tried, but it didn't work out for a reason. The reason was you." Her eyebrows raised, and instantly she pushed his hand off of her.

"Me? You're blaming me for you and Buffy not working out? I didn't do anything!" she snapped, obviously not understanding what he meant. He couldn't help but grin, only Cordelia would snap at him when he was trying to explain that she was the reason, because he was in love with her.  
"Yes, I'm blaming you.." he finally said, amusement in his voice as she glared, completely unaware of his feelings. "Because you made me realize that what me and Buffy had.. as great as it was, it was nothing compared to what I could have. I could never have a family with her.. I could never count on her to be there for me even after I made mistakes. She's not the girl that I want to spend my life with.. that I want to be the mother of my son."

"Again. How the hell is that my fault?" she seemed truly offended as she interrupted him.

"Because you are that girl." He finally told her, "the way that you are with Conner, taking care of him as if he has always belonged to you. The way that you have never turned your back on me even when I deserved it, you're wrong, you did everything.. you showed me I could have a life that I never even dreamed of because I knew I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve you, I still don't.. But I'm not going to miss my chance. I love you, how do you not know that already? I am completely in love with you Cordelia and if you think I would walk away from you, or take Conner away from the only mother he will ever know you really are crazy." It was out. He told her. He watched her carefully as her expression changed from anger, to confusion, to something entirely different. Her eyes were filling up with tears again, but for something different now. She didn't say anything, she couldn't, no words could possibly explain her feelings.

Cordelia looked at him in a way that she never had before, a smile appearing on her face for the first time since the fight. She slowly lifted her hand up to his face, softly letting her fingers glide against his skin, before finally letting her lips crash against his. What started out as a loving, sweet and gentle kiss instantly turned needy. Their lips didn't part an inch as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his lap. Their tongues challenged each other's; moving together in perfect sync. Cordelias hands moved down his chest, carefully unbuttoning the bottom button, moving up as quickly as she could before she grew impatiently and tore his shirt open, causing the remaining buttons to pop off and bounce across the hardwood floors. Angel pulled back for a second and looked at her lovingly, an amused grin appearing on her face.

"I'll buy you a new one" she promised before her lips attacked his once again, using her hands to free him of the rest of the fabric of the shirt. The slight coldness of her hands caused him to tremble a bit when her fingers traced along his now bare chest and down to his abs. Angel let his hands move underneath her tank top against her soft warm skin, all the way up her back where he discovered that she wasn't wearing a bra, it made his grin grow wider. In a matter of seconds the gray tank top was discarded and he had moved his lips from hers down to her neck, nibbling softly at her skin causing a quiet moan to escape her throat.

Angel picked her up, her arms and legs wrapped around him as her lips went back to his automatically while he carried her to her bed, laying her down gently before sitting next to her. She was looking up at him, her face clean of any makeup, her hair still damp from her shower. He breathed in as he took in all of her beauty, she was perfect in every single way. Then she smiled; he thought he'd melt. Her fingers interlaced with his as she pulled him down to her level, her other hand resting on the back of his head as she pulled him into another perfect kiss. Quickly he kicked his shoes off and rolled on top of her, his knees on each side of her perfectly toned body. His lips moved to her neck again, slowly moving south until he reached her full breasts, a cool touch of his hand causing both nipples to become erect in an instant. Her head was spinning, every little touch had her on edge and wanting more. As his tongue swirled around one of her nipples another soft moan escaped, his other hand was gently massaging her other breast. Cordelia couldn't think of a time where she had been so completely happy, her stomach instinctively sucked in as he continued to move his head down, kissing down to her navel. His hands slowly moved down her sides, his fingers locking on the top of her shorts and the G string she wore underneath. He paused; looking up at her as if he was asking for permission, a small nod was all he needed before he removed the remaining pieces of clothing. As he did so he lifted one of her legs, his hand running up and down the smooth surface before he began to leave a trail of kisses from her ankle to her thigh, placing her foot down on the bed. He moved her other leg apart more as he continued kissing up her thigh.  
His heart was racing, he had wanted this for so long and thought he'd never get it. In one swift move his tongue he tasted her for the first time. To his delight, she was already insanely wet, his tongue moved roughly between her folds, purposely avoiding her clit, knowing it would drive her crazy. Angel wanted to grin when he heard her gasp, her breathing quickening with every little touch. She tasted incredible; he couldn't get enough of her. He moved one of his hands down, backing his head away from her for a brief second, letting his fingers touch her, feeling her body shake beneath him. He continued to rub her, feeling her continue to grow wetter by the second, his thumb moved to her clit, rubbing it gently at first as his tongue went back to work. He used his other hand to spread her legs apart more before letting his middle finger slide between her folds, teasingly entering her for a second before rubbing more. Hearing her light moans and fast breathing only made him want to keep going. Angel moved his hand away from her clit, letting his tongue finally flick it just as his middle finger entered her. His hand moved up to massage her breast, his finger pumping in and out of her while he tongue roughly flicked her nub before sucking on it for a moment, feeling her hips buck slightly. She was so amazingly tight, when he let a second finger enter her he could hear her wince in pain but he didn't stop, soon enough her moans were beginning to grow louder. Her fingers moved through his hair, tugging on it as she felt herself growing closer and closer. Every time his fingers plunged into her she could feel herself about to go over the edge, until he sucked on her clit again while his tongue continued to move against it. The sensation was enough to make her scream, he could feel the cum as it dripped down his fingers, didn't stop, he kept going as her hips bucked against him, her entire body shaking, and her fingers pulling so hard on his hair that he was surprised none of it came out.  
Cordelia took him by surprise when she began to regain control of her body, pulling him up to her by his hair and kissing him. It was nowhere near as gentle as the first kiss they had shared, it was rough, her way of telling him just how much she wanted him. As soon as he was face to face with her again, her hands moved down his chest, stopping at his belt which she unbuckled and discarded in record time. She didn't take a beat before unbuttoning his pants, pushing them down as much as she could. Angel kicked them off, gasping when he felt the warmth of her hands wrapping around his already rock hard cock. It took all of the strength he had not to cum right then. He helped her push his boxers off while she continued to let her hand rub up and down his dick, before her other hand pushed down on his back. He looked down at her, her eyes were practically begging him, the anticipation of what was about to happen made his entire body shake. Slowly he lowered himself onto her, gently entering her. Cordelia bit her lip, he was a lot bigger than anyone she'd been with. Her eyes closed as he filled her completely, it hurt for a moment, but he gave her a second to adjust. He rocked his body slowly, still letting her get use to his size, and he was still getting use to how incredibly tight she was. In all of his years, with all of the other women he'd been with.. nothing felt as amazing as being inside her. He picked up his pace a little more, but he didn't want to rush it. Each slow thrust made him feel more and more alive, he'd never felt this close to anyone. He could feel his heart beating even faster as his thrusts became quicker, rougher; he wanted to be as deep inside of her as possible. He groaned as her nails dug into his back, his lips moving to her neck, kissing, licking and biting at it as he continued to glide in and out of her perfectly tight hole. He was surprised once again when she used all of her strength to roll them over, straddling him. She had a wild look in her eyes as she began to ride him, slowly at first but before too long her hips were moving at an incredibly fast pace. Cordelias hands fell to his thighs, squeezing them as her back arched, bending almost into a full back bend as she continued to move on top of him.  
"Damn" he groaned, completely amazed at her flexibility, he knew she was a cheerleader, but damn. It was his turn to surprise her, he sat up quickly, his hands getting a good grip on her thighs before he stood up, using his strength to lift her off of his cock before slamming back down, she screamed, and God did he love the sound of her screams in his ear. He kept going, and her moans became louder by the second. He laid her back down on her back, her legs spreading into a full split as he continued to pound her, he bent over her, using his teeth to take one of her nipples into his mouth, his tongue flicking at it viciously as she squealed beneath him, his thumb began to rub her clit quickly. As she felt herself about to cum again, she pulled him down on top of her hard, her legs wrapping around his waist as she pulled herself up, trying to get him as deep inside her as humanly possible. His entire body began to shake as he continued to pound into her tight little pussy, he could feel himself building up, he didn't know how much longer he could hold off. As her muscles began to tighten around his cock he forced himself to keep going, she had to get there with him. Harder, faster, deeper, her nails dug into his chest violently as she let out a moan, the feeling of her exploding all over him sent him over the edge. He kept thrusting deep into her as he started to cum, hard. Angel collapsed on top of her, still thrusting into her as he continued to cum, her tightening muscles milking him completely dry. Soon, his movements stopped all together as he lay on top of her, both of them covered in each other's sweat, trying to catch their breath. Cordelias eyes were closed, taking in everything from the moment, not ever wanting the wave of pleasure to stop. She smiled as she felt his lips brush against her forehead, opening her eyes for a second she stared up at him.  
"Angel..?" she said quietly as he rolled off of her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.  
"Hm?" he was still out of breath when he looked over at her, smiling as he pushed a piece of her stray dark locks behind her ear.  
"I love you too." Cordelia grinned, watching the look that he gave her, he was so amazed at how lucky he had gotten. He didn't say anything back to her, she knew he loved her. Instead he just brought her closer, kissing her lips gently.

Moments passed and the two just stayed there, perfectly happy in each other's arms. When the light went off Angel glanced over at Cordelia, who at that point was thinking the same thing as he was.  
"Was Dennis in the room the whole time..?" he questioned, chuckling when he saw the gorgeous brunette burst into laughter.


End file.
